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Luke

5 Webcomics That Don’t Suck

February 14, 2023 by Luke

One popular image of the internet is of a wonderful utopia, allowing creators worldwide to share their genius without “The Establishment” holding them back. The only problem is that most people aren’t geniuses, and huge sections of that “Establishment” are filters designed to protect the innocent public from a never-ending torrent of terrible music, garbage writing and – worst of all – comics so bad they’d make Marvel back off and re-launch as a house painting firm.

While some simple rules can help you avoid the worst of the filth (e.g. “If it’s a gaming comic not called Penny Arcade then it sucks”), finding the few nuggets of gold can be hard work. Which is why we’ve done it for you, sifting some high-quality but lesser-known strips out for you. You’re welcome.

1. Basic Instructions



Basic Instructions
, a weekly humor strip, has two things most web “comics” don’t have. One: An actual comic – author Scott Meyer spent several years as a professional comedian before turning his hand to webcomickry, meaning he has actual knowledge of “comic timing” and “being funny” that most hopeful-humorists lack. Two: a valid excuse to use copy and paste, the cardinal sin of comic laziness. In the fake-printed-instructions style of the strip the repeated graphics are actually appropriate, and new graphics are drawn when needed.

There’s a clear feeling that Scott actually cares about the audience – since he used to work in a field where they could physically attack him that’s unsurprising – and with recent extensions into newspapers and a book in the works, it seems the audience cares back.

2. Dr McNinja



Dr McNinja
achieves the impossible and makes internet memes funny. He doesn’t make them funny because they’re memes – he makes them funny despite being memes, with an incredible internet alchemical ingredient known as “great writing”. Most “jokes” based on pirates, zombies or ninjas are the desperate recycling of attention-starved idiots (with some honorable exceptions like Real Ultimate Power and Dinosaur Comics).

Chris Hastings and Kent Archer produce fast-paced and funny action stories containing every single one of those elements (and a few robots, lumberjacks and vampires besides) which somehow never feel less than fresh. Another strip that’s made the difficult transition to “Actually asking people to pay for it”, with two volumes available for sale: “The Adventures of Dr McNinja” and “Surgical Strike”. One volume means the makers thought people might buy it – two means those people did. You should too.

3. Freakangels

Freakangels is one of the wonderful and diseased brainchildren of Warren Ellis, comic writer extraordinaire. Some comic shops have sections devoted entirely to him, he produces umpty-billion actual-for-sale comics for Marvel, Avatar and others – and he decided to do one completely for free online. Because he could. A post-apocalyptic tale with steampunk elements and the well developed characters that populate all Ellis’s stories, rendered in rich, full-color art by Paul Duffield.

Sidestepping the usual “one page per whatever” web schedule that destroys dramatic tension (or leads to a cliffhanger every four panels), they upload an episode of six pages every Friday. This is a free comic by master professionals who could have charged for it if they wanted, but they decided not to. You should decide to read it.

4. Diesel Sweeties



There is talk that author Richard Stevens is not of our Earth, but has been sent back in time from a hyper-productive future to embarrass the hell out of the lazy “When I feel like it” crowd. Since starting pixel-art humor strip Diesel Sweeties in 2000, he has never decided “I’m playing Grand Theft Auto instead”, never run a “Dead Pixels Day” of filler, and as well as maintaining a rich cast of characters and comics over two leap years has tripled his output over that time.

As well as expanding into newspapers (the real acid test of any newly popular comic strip), books, t-shirts and even socks. The trademark aspects of Diesel Sweeties, fantastic punchlines and the lost art of punning, translate well to almost anything that can be written on.

5. Witch Doctor



Brandon Seifert and Lukas Ketner. Finally, two aspiring creators who understand how the web should be used to break into an industry. Witch Doctor, a medical horror comic, is clearly designed with the goal of being picked up and printed by a publisher. But rather than running around with cards clutched to their chest and demanding “IF we get a deal THEN we’ll do some actual work”, Messrs Seifert and Ketner thought “Well, how can we prove we can produce a full high quality comic?”

Simple. By making an full, high quality comic. And releasing it entirely online, for free, in a single great big burst – instead of holding the readers hostage for more pageviews, trickling out bits and pieces over a period of months, they wrapped it all up in one big ball of awesome and said “Here! Enjoy!” I did.

With classic high-detail black & white art (reminiscent of the good old days of 2000 AD) and a story combining characters, action, imaginative ideas and a very undignified use for the Holy Grail it’s a terrific read. It’s clear right from the get-go that there’s more here than is written on the pages. These guys aren’t scraping the barrels of their brains trying to fill up an issue; there’s obviously an entire imagined world hovering just behind the page, evolving all the time, and hopefully we’ll get to see more. Go enjoy your first incision.

Originally posted on June 10, 2008 @ 11:27 am

Filed Under: Media

Seven Great Cameras That Kick The Hell Out Of Your Screensaver

February 14, 2023 by Luke

There are many fascinating and educational things you can see on the other end of a streaming video connection. But did you know that some of them aren’t porn? Ever since the original Coffee Cam, webcams have been a popular pastime: by design there’s always new content so it’s an endless way to avoid what you’re meant to be doing, and like that original caffeine-monitor some projects meet with unexpected success after saying “Let’s just put it online and see what happens”

1. Ground Zero Cam

groundzerocamera

Got goals for the next few years, be they a better job, moving out or looking for love? Keep track of your personal timeline with the ultimate long-term alarm clock. Cameras monitoring the reconstruction efforts at Ground Zero provide constant coverage of a testament to human engineering, dedication and sheer hard work as the Freedom Tower is constructed on the site of the World Trade Center.

Race the workers to their goal – the Tower is scheduled for completion in 2011, so that gives you three years to achieve your objective – with a 24/7 reminder that whatever you’re doing, others are doing something much bigger and harder. And if you’re still where you are by the time they finish a half-kilometer tower, well, maybe that’s where you deserve to be.

2. AquariumCam

acquariumcamera

The camera equivalent of a lava lamp – simple, stupid but utterly compelling. A real testament to the miracle technology we’ve got running these days, instead of running one of those (hideous) fishtank screensavers you can ‘simply’ connect to an aquarium hundreds or thousands of miles away (or even on the other side of the planet). This submerged surveillance system is an amazing leveler of the species – the fish never get bored of swimming in circles, and once you spend a few minutes tuning in to them you’ll look just the same, blanks eyes with your mouth hanging open until it’s feeding time.

3. Lucky Dogs

luckydogscamera

The biggest online audience behind those ogling lovely lady flesh online is, well, those ogling lovely male flesh. But after that you have a more-PG (but equally obsessed) horde drooling over pictures of puppies and kittens. In a fiendish combination of audience-grabbing and free advertising, Lucky Dogs of Colorado have set up webcams in the play areas of their dog care facility.

This provides all the computerized canine-addicts with their daily fix of active animals, allows customers to check out how their dog is doing anywhere, and provides extraordinary advertising for the business – “We are so confident we will let the entire world watch us at work.” When somebody says that, you know they’re somebody you can trust with your animal, or at least you know you’ll have video evidence for your lawsuit if something goes wrong.

4. News Studio cam

newsstudiocamera

For those who prefer their internet-viewing more on the meta-side, how about watching the news – as it happens! – as the news reports on the news as it happens, as it happens. Confused yet? A Fox news studio has set up a live webcam allowing any who wants to watch the preparations, the sneezes, and all the other things that seem to stop once the ‘real’ cameras start rolling. Warning: hate to disappoint you, but the anchors actually do wear pants under the table.

5. Wish you were here…

pyramidscamera

Research shows that exactly “however-many-are-working” percent of the American population wish they were somewhere else. This may explain the popularity of webcams like The Great Pyramids, The Acropolis or such sunny destinations as Hawaiian beaches. You would think such cameras would be unpopular – unless you’re Indiana Jones nothing exciting actually happens around pyramids, and many of these tourist destination webcams can look like nothing but lower-resolution postcards. Every since Athena got out of the business of being worshipped by and punishing willing males around two and a half thousand years ago not much has happened in the Acropolis- and let’s face it, even if she got back into it nowshe’d have stiff competition from the other camgirls.

But that would be to ignore the vital psychology of the webcam – sure, that building may have remained unchanged for thousands of years, but I’m looking at its unchanged facade right now. This sense of immediacy has a powerful effect on the human mind – while we’ve upgraded our rocks and spears to silicon systems, the brain still basically thinks “If I can see it then it’s there”, and the knowledge of real-time viewing allows us to enjoy that sensation more fully. And of course the psychological touchstone of knowing that, no matter what else happens in this crazy world, you can boot up your browser and check “Yep, those thousands of tons of stone are still there.”

The Hawaiicam is also a great example to “user-controlled cams” – webcams which claim to operable by the viewer. The vast majority of these work by community rule, taking the average instruction over tens or hundreds of controllers and doing that. Any of you who’ve ever been in a large crowd of people trying to make a decision will realise that this means precisely nobody is happy, ever, and the camera tends to jam in one corner wiggling back and forth. Still, nice beaches though.

6. …and glad you aren’t here

anchoragedmvcamera

No matter how bad things get, no matter how low your 9-5 grinds you, there’s always an instant boost of self-stimulating Schadenfreude available from the Anchorage DMV. In a stroke of sadness-sharing genius that we can only hope was rewarded, possibly with a Doctorate in Philosophy, someone has captured the sheer face of human misery for all the world to see – not as an art exhibit, not as a heartbreaking ode, but as a webcam. The quiet desperation of those trapped in the DMV queue is available for all in a display of soul-crushing poverty of joy that would make Nietsche put on a party hat and say “Nihilism isn’t so bad, let’s rock out!”

7. Microsoft World Wide Telescope

microsoftworldwidetelescopecamera

All the above were simple streaming browser-based beauties. The World Wide Telescope needs a full twenty-one megabyte download and even an “installation”, but I assure you it’s worth every second of your time. A polished viewer that ties together images from around the world and a number of space-satellites, this looks like it should be on the bridge of the Starship Enterprise, not the desktop of a spreadsheet-jockey.

The ability to pan and zoom an little thing called “THE ENTIRE SKY”, locating or identifying specific stars or features. As you zoom in the software updates the images with data from little things like the CHANDRA X-ray observatory. NASA’s multi-million dollar hardware at the beck and call of anyone who’s interested. Which should include you – that’s the whole universe up there, and I assure you it looks better than spinning text, flying toasters or that bloody dumb 3D-pipes screensaver you’ve got running.

Originally posted on May 20, 2008 @ 4:28 pm

Filed Under: Online Video

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